Huwebes, Abril 14, 2011

HANGOVER

She is drinking again. But this time with a real friend. Taking alcohol should be done with reasons and so the justifications. 

She is frustrated with her job interview and her friend has a heart problem. Justifiable, indeed.


The place is not suited for a serious talk, which is fine, since they only need a diversion from their current states. The bottles of beer are shared with broken conversations and some singing. Most of the time, they are silent. The companionship is not awkward even with the lack of words. They are both comfortable with silence, which she really values, and one of the reasons why she looks at her as a real friend. 

Two buckets down before they decide to quit the night. While walking to find a cab, her friend asks her if she is open to bar-hop. She can still handle herself and her companion is still sober, she thinks, and the night is still young, so why not. 

The next place is noisier and more populated than the first one. She chooses the seat near the stage where a band is playing, thinking that ear-shuttering noise is exactly what they need. 

The place is a good venue for people-watching, which is one thing they both do for the heck of finding weird things in people. 

As usual, words are minimal. But lot of eye movements are going and laughter, loud ones, are shared, then an abrupt silence, then cycles. 

The band is playing dance music from time to time together with the dimming of lights. They are nodding their heads and moving their bodies to the beat of the tunes. 

Tonight, she is different from her usual days, which made her look more approachable. Her friend as usual looks uniquely beautiful. The longer they stay at the place, the more evident that they are different from the other patrons, which makes her uneasy and the want to leave gets strong. 

She is observing her friend for a sign of drunkenness knowing that the alcohol is already taking its effects on her. Her friend however is enjoying the tunes so she drops the idea of leaving. 

Some people start to notice them. Usually people don’t have the guts to approach them, but alcohol can give that false feeling of being stronger. Alcohol can also lower the barrier people usually surround themselves. 

One guy asks her, “You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?” She looks up and says no, then mind the beer in front of her. Another guy approaches her friend and asks for a dance. They dance…

She wakes up feeling the weight of her head and wonders where she is. It takes minutes before she recognizes that she is in her friend’s place. She thinks hard how they are able to get home. She plays in her mind the series of events last night but she ends up with her friend dancing with a guy. She recalls the events again and again and again. But she always ends up with the same scene. 

Panic building up, she wakes up her friend sleeping beside her. She asks her friend the same question she’s trying to answer herself. Worst. Her friend only remembers patches of things. The last scene she remembers is when a guy asks her to dance. 

Barrage of questions, litanies and concerns escape her lips. Then finally she said, “We are still us. We will never talk about this again”. 

Minutes of silence, then her friend’s cellphone beeps. The friend let her read the message. “Hi love, how are you? My friend is still aching from that slap your friend gave him. When will I see you again?”. 

She looks at her friend and says, “NO. But whatever your decision is, whatever the consequences of your choices, be responsible.”. 

She gets her things, heads to the door and before exiting repeats the word 

NO.

She gets home and sleeps the worry that’s eating her. She wakes up with a dream. The dream is peopled with recognizable characters. 

She is a supportive friend, giving warnings from time to time but still helps when she can especially witnessing how hopefulness and love bring out exceptional happiness to her friend. 

But something good will never come out from a wrong start. Enjoying the moment will never be applicable and heartache is inevitable. Though she understands that lessons learned are priceless. 

Maybe her friend is aching from the results of her decisions, but more so in her part because she still feels responsible. 

She is drinking again, alone this time, and without justification. 

There maybe hangover tomorrow, but she imprints in her mind that it will be just a dream, it really never happens and soon will be forgotten.

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